I’m a Barbie girl, living in my Barbie world…

Tuesday- I attended a discussion group with Ruth, my site coordinator. The theme was a Lenten dedication to Peace. One comment that remains with me is that a conflict has not just two sides, it has at least as many sides as there are people involved, usually more.

Thursday- while on my way out to Comas for my weekly guitar lessons, I was early. I took the bus that has a bit longer route and usually takes an hour and 20 minutes, but Thursday it only took about 50, so I decided to stop at the Metro, buy a water and mosey my way up to the church. I’ve done this 15 minute walk several times, to run errands or grab a snack. It has always had a calm, laid back manner, giving me the impression things out in Comas are more tranquil. But, this time, was not so much. I received the cat calls and general torments of my usual walks in other parts of Lima. I picked up my relaxing mosey pace to my standard fast walk and realized that I had never walked this route solo before. Its always been with my yav friend/guitar teacher/basketball history guru, Jamie.

Friday- Flor and Eduardo(co-worker)’s first son, Fabiàn Ernesto, was born at 6:40am.

Saturday- I visited the happy family in the clinic and got to hold the tiniest person I’ve ever held. He was 3.5 kilos, which apparently for a baby is quite substantial, but for me having zero experience with babies is itty-bitty. That night, I had a fabulous time celebrating Maribel’s birthday. I enjoyed dancing with many of her friends. One friend told me I was Barbie, he meant it as a compliment, I quietly took it as an insult – and on retrospect, it has some truth to it. I spend most of my time bopping along, thinking we’re all in this together, but in reality, I have a totally different background from every person I am in contact with daily. I don’t see it always, but I realized they can see it. While taking a rest from dancing, I got asked to dance again. At first I rejected the offer, but upon persistence I got up to dance once more. Seconds later, in my peripheral vision I see Maribel’s aunt near us and the next thing I know, I have beer on my clothes and the glass is broken on the floor. I don’t know if she was throwing it at me or him or both of us, but I took this as my cue to exit stage left. Her other aunt stopped me and sat me down, telling me that her sister-in-law is crazy, and not to worry about it. I told her I was fine, I’m just going to leave because its late, and two friends walked me home. I realized that my ability to read people in Spanish is crap! Generally, in the States I am pretty good at observing the scene, and getting what’s not being said, but here I have a bubble up, I get the words that come out, but what’s behind them is hidden. I’m sure if my radars had been functioning, I would have seen the jealously or anger or whatever it was. I would have just stuck to dancing with the other guys, and I wouldn’t have gotten up to dance with him.

It takes weeks like this past one to help me remember that my life, my perceptions of situations and my reactions are formed specifically to me and from my experiences. Put any other person in my place and they would have different views and produce different outcomes.